It’s been far too long since my last blog. I could give you some excuse like ‘I’ve been
too busy’, or ‘Work has been crazy’, but that wouldn’t be the truth. I was actually saving the planet from a group
of rogue ninjas disguised as sugar plum fairies…hmmm… I don’t even know what a
real sugar plum fairy looks like, excuse me, I’m going to go and Google it
really fast……….
……Okay I’m back and sugar plum fairies look just like
ballerinas with wings, kind of disappointing actually. I was hoping for something more fearsome,
although, with a name like sugar plum fairies I’m not sure why I would have
expected anything else.
So, maybe I wasn’t really saving the world from ninjas
disguised as sugar plum fairies, but it was something very similar, or rather,
it was something different every day. We
have accumulated quite the collection of super heroes and super villains, play
swords, lightsabers, nerf guns etc etc etc… Needless to say, we have some epic
battles, even with the sides being completely imbalanced.
“Why are the sides
completely imbalanced?”
I am glad you asked!
(See the great thing about being the guy writing the blog is you can do
whatever you want, you can even create fake people to ask you questions that you
want people to ask.)
Jordan is the dictator of the toys when it comes to play
time, and it usually plays out like gym class in junior high. Jordan chooses all the best guys for his team
and we get left with, hmm, how can I put this nicely… , ‘the underappreciated’. The team
splitting process goes something like this:
Jordan says, “Okay, I get Superman, Batman, Flash, Green
Lantern, Hulk and Optimus Prime.”
Then, “Daddy and mommy get… this horse, a car, the Black
Power Ranger with one leg and a piece of already chewed gum… and I guess you
can have this magic boot that can make your guy fly. Oh wait, no, I need the magic boot for
Batman, you can have this tractor, but the tractor can’t talk he can only Moo,
like in Cars. Oh yeah, and the Power
Ranger needs to go to the hospital. (he takes what would have been the Captain
of my team and puts him on the counter in the kitchen next to the dish drying
rack next to the other Power Rangers that are missing limbs, which is ALL of
the Power Rangers.)
Now we have our teams and the battle begins and it goes like
this: “Laser vision! sharp bat! Hulk
Smash! I am Optimus Prime! Super speed!
You’re all dead, I WIN!!!”
Jodi and I will say something like “That’s not fair, we didn’t
even get to do anything. Let’s make new
teams okay and we will have another battle.”
Repeat the team selection process with some variations:
Jordan, “Okay I get Superman, Flash, 3 Batmans, Lex Luthor
(from Crisis on Two Earths, because that Lex Luthor was a good guy.), Hulk,
Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, this bag of Army Mens, Green Lantern, Ironman and
Spiderman.”
“You get this motorcycle guy, Woody (from Toy Story), this
ball, this horse, and my stinky sock.”
Sigh…I wish I had the magic boot, at least, so the stinky
sock could fly.
