A dragon, robot, superhero, maybe a super-villain. I can be any one of these things on any given day. I can climb a mountain made completely of marshmallows, travel to a distant planet, or save this one from impending doom. Some days I will invade a neighboring country then retreat to my couch cushion castle. It's all in a days work when you are a dad.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Fauxhawk of Awesomness


     Today I did the impossible.  Today I tamed a wild beast.  This wasn’t just any wild beast, this was the most stubborn and unkempt wild beast of all wild beasts.  This beast has been staring me in the face for years, taunting me, daring me to approach it.  Well, today I approached it.  I walked right up to this beast, my weapon in hand and slew it.  Yes, today I did the impossible.  Today, I combed Jordans hair. 
It sounds silly, but Jordan is very particular when it comes to his hair.  You almost have to trick him.  Well, actually, I do have to trick him.  I pretend I am wetting his face to wash it with one hand, but with the other hand I am, unbeknownst to him, wetting his hair.  Once this trickery is accomplished I point out that his hair has gotten wet and ask if I can fix it for him.  He’ll say something like “Yes father, I would be most pleased if you would fix my hair for me.  I would be terribly embarrassed if I showed up at day care with such an awful mess upon my head.”  I’m paraphrasing, of course.  So, I get out a comb and see what I can do with his bed hair. 
     Today, I took it a step further and threw in some gel and spiked it up like mine in sort of a faux hawk of pure awesomeness and power.  I could tell he felt the power of the faux hawk surging through him.  Because at that moment he scrunched up his face and squinted his eyes, effectively putting on his ‘bad guy hunting face’.  Next thing I know he is walking around the house Ironman blasting everything.  He extends his arm, palm facing outward, and takes aim.  Who will be his next victim?  Pair of shoes, OBLITERATED!  Trashcan, DESTROYED!  Christmas tree (yes, our Christmas tree is still up) BURNED TO A CRISP!!!  Nothing and nobody is safe in our home when Jordan goes into Ironman mode.  It makes it really hard to get ready for the day when you have to dodge repulsor blasts every thirty seconds and spend half the morning writhing on the floor in pain from a point blank repulsor wound. 
     We somehow manage to get out the door and get Jodi to work on time.  Jordan has calmed down; he’s in the back seat playing with my iPhone.  He hasn’t talked in a few minutes, he is in the zone, mesmerized by the game or video he is currently playing or watching.  He seems to be oblivious to the world around him and he doesn’t see the big truck we are pulling up next to.  He loves big trucks, so, being the good dad that I am, I point it out.  He looks up and out the window, extents his right arm toward the truck, palm facing out and yells “BOOM!!!!” then promptly returns to his regularly scheduled program.  Pardon me for interrupting. 

3 comments:

  1. I can't wait to have a kid. Except he's going to love batman. because obviously batman is way cooler than ironman. duh. :)

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  2. Don't let his love for Ironman fool you. Someone asked him his name tonight and he said BATMAN!

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  3. Actually, he can't be Batman because I am. So. No. He's not. I am. ")

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