Mmmmm... Bread Butts!

     All of these LEGO spaceships I’ve had to build lately look like Rainbow Brite vomit.  Our current LEGO collection is very…eclectic.  We don’t have a particular set of LEGOs, just a conglomeration of different shapes, colors and sizes that have been acquired from Grandma and Grandpa Smiths collection.  I’m quite sure that if we were ever engaged in a real space battle with these ships we would win.  Not because our ships are so powerful but because the bad guys would be too busy laughing or just plain dumbfounded at our lack of color coordination.  That’s all that’s really important when it comes to spaceships, color coordination right?  Making sure your wings are some color that isn’t completely and embarrassingly out of season and God forbid you show up to a war in a white spaceship after Labor Day.  Such a fashion faux pas would surely have you blacklisted from all the upper class space battles for the better half of a decade. 

     Jordan doesn’t seem to mind what color the ships are that Jodi and I build.  He shouldn’t; after all, he is the reason they look like confetti.  He picks out all of the pieces of a couple different colors then leaves the leftovers to us.   He then builds something that is completely one color but has no aerodynamics whatsoever and I build something that could probably very smoothly fly a million miles per hour but looks hideous doing it.  I think these LEGOs are setting the theme for the rest of my life.  I’m going to be wearing second hand clothes, driving a beater of a car and eating the butt of the bread for the next 15 years so he can have the best that Jodi and I can offer.  You know what though?  I’m going to love every minute of it.

Vegetable Battlecruiser

     I got beat by a 3 year old in an epic dogfight between two custom made Lego spaceships.  It wasn’t a fair fight, though, and I’ll explain why: 

1.  He is shorter than me, therefore, providing him with a lot more easily accessible areas to escape pursuit.  

2.  He doesn’t understand the laws of physics as I do, so he believes that even though I shot his spaceship multiple times with photon laser cannons, that his ship is undamaged.  He also admits to not having any sort of energy shielding, so by my calculations his ship should have been demolished. 

3.  His feet are smaller and he is not as likely to stub one of his toes and fall to the floor.  But, if he had stubbed his toe and fallen to the floor, I would not have taken advantage of the opportunity to sit on him and break off one of his ships photon cannons. 

4.  I built a new and improved spaceship with high intensity laser beams for point defense, energy shielding with Photon Laser Displacement Technology, cloaking field, and a magnetic accelerator cannon.  Upon seeing my new ship Jordan promptly traded with me.  Grrrrr….

     As you can see, I really had no chance.  It’s time for me to cut my losses and redouble my efforts.  He’ll be napping soon and that gives me two hours to build an invincible machine of mass destruction.  I think I need to run to the store and buy enough Legos to build a ship too big for him to steal from me.  Or, maybe I will just make it out of vegetables, he’ll never touch it then!  Victory is so close I can smell it now, and it smells like…broccoli!